I’m Here

I’m here. I need you to know.

I replay moments that we shared and ones I’ve dreamed

For you I’m just a scent and just a song away

For me you’re a whisper, a smile, a big step forward when I’m afraid and tired.

I see you being brave.
In that moment you breathe in
In that moment you breathe out
In that moment your tears flow freely
In that moment you choose joy
I am here.

For you I live in an entire kaleidoscope of infinite stories that you read and tell and remember how they were told to you while I held you in my arms.
There’s nothing like that warm, safe dream of together.

I wish for it every second I’m still.
I beg for it back when I’m worn out.
When I don’t have anything left to hide all the stuff I keep underneath.

Those days do come
I’ll be there to help you hold that heavy feeling
You’ll find peace in a memory and laughter will soon follow.

I just wish you were here

I am ~ close your eyes
Do you see me?
Just on the other side of the thinnest wall where you can still feel my presence.
Still hear my laughter
Still feel your heart thumping when you see my eyes light up for you.

I really wish I could talk to you
Just once more

You can~I hear you
I bet you can hear me too

My love knows you through and through and treasures every bit.
You get to keep that for all eternity
And so do I.
Love exists in a realm surpassing life and death.

How do I find you?
How will I know you’re still here with me?

Did you know there is no end sweetheart~~
Only places far beyond our imagination
With lights as bright as the sun
No fear, no pain, no worry
Just joy. Just love.

You may feel we have separated
But we remain
Long after we must part
Love remains~~

It will wrap you up like a warm towel after a hot bath.
It will sing you to sleep.
It will wake you when the sky is so beautifully blue
that you simply must not miss it.
Maybe you will find a nickel
Catch a rainbow gracing gloom
Spot a dragonfly under the sparkling sun
See the most delicious bloom under a peculiar tree
See a bird soar high above this Wild world.
That is my love being sent straight to you

That is when you’ll know
You have found me
When you have opened your heart
Just enough to see the magic
That remains
That is me
I am always there

I was on top of the world from the day I knew we would be together
I am still ….
Right here.
A light to guide you through this world
In your heart
And right beside you too
Every step of the way.

Keep on being brave
It matters
The tough parts are little bridges that we must trust and
we must cross.
They don’t go on forever.
They just get us to the good stuff.

I hope you do the things you love today.
Go for a drive,
Walk through the garden
Bake a cake
Drink a big cup of coffee with just the right milk and sugar.
Make yourself smile cuz that’s the time I love the most. 🙂
I love you always, forever,
and still…

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The Bench

The bench that waits
Beside the creek
Where I listen
And tall trees speak

As I learn
To understand
Nature’s voice
Is calm and grand

Quiet, whispers the sun
The very best
Is yet to come

Will it be a bunny
An owl or a butterfly?
No! It is the smiles
Of a couple passing by!

Truth

The old truth flickers the light inside,

Some days it turns the switch right off,

And you spend a moment in cold, dark, silence.

Some may find comfort in telling their truth

Trying to make sense of what “is” for anyone listening

To feel whole and explain all the “whys” of who they think that everyone “believes them to be.…”.

Turning up the volume

As the band leaves the stage,

Produces a show that nobody came to hear.

Amplifying nothing only brings a nerve rattling, detestable sound.

Now it’s just a story

You keep telling, but there cannot be an ending if you keep telling it.

 

All your genuine effort is spent trying to resurrect something that no longer needs to live.

Old truths appear to be waiting for  you on those dreary days,

When you forget to focus on where you’re going..

It would like to be spoken,

So that it may live on.

It hopes

That you will panic,

Open a door,

Bust out a window,

Break down walls…

Just to breathe and see and feel,

Releasing it into the waiting wonder.

But don’t.

Promise you never will.

Because soon

Something beautiful

Surrounds you

To warm and comfort your insides

And hold you together,

Completely.

It is this moment.

This moment is the only truth we need to celebrate, amplify, create.

This moment, choose to be new.

The next thought, choice, move

Is all yours.

It stamps a big RETURN TO SENDER

on that old truth.

That isn’t you.

This moment is you.

And it is anything you wish it to be.

It has been given to all of us.

Every single second we breathe,

It lives in the light that shines through our eyes

When we are expecting to see through the shadows

Of an old truth, old story, old hurt, old beast, old self

And trust,

That it does NOT dwell within,

It never did.

 

And so the garden grows

As long before as you can think
As far until as will exist

And as I began to grow,  so too did he
Right along next to me
Our energies building and shining
Growing and resting
Side by side

I was not showing him the way
He was neither leading nor following
He was an equal force
An equal light
An equal

Where I was going
He would be too
As he continued
So did I

As long before as you can think
As far until as will exist

We rose from the ground
Aiming toward the sun
Through shadows settling
Air cooling
Unwavering hope ripe with good intentions

Our intent is to love.

Give love
Find love
Receive love
Mention love
See love
Feel love

Until this world we are soaring through
Can do nothing
Without feeling it.
Nothing, without knowing it exists.
Until one day they find themselves snipping off a tiny bit to keep for their very own

And so the garden grows.

We Are The Sun🌞

You are the star, I am the wish,
We are the sun…

~~One night as I dreamed~~
You came back to me.
You took my hand.
Pulled me from the dark.
Wrapped me in the curtain
I had thought was our “divide”.
It wasn’t.
It was a magic cape,
Coloured with all of our memories,
Stitched through endless days of our shared laughter,
our shared sun,
You looked at me and whispered…
“You are the star, I am the wish,
We are the sun.”
“You are the light, I am the warmth,
We are the sun.”
“We have always been and will always be.”

We cannot be divided.
We are only united,
always forever..

To wish for a moment
with you,
I simply need to be.

There are pieces of me
Made from seconds,
and thoughts,
and creations,
Where we existed in one space
together,
visibly,
in the same dance of time.
What we cannot see,
Now lies within our
very existence.
And this dreamy magic cape
Shall remain with me,
Surrounding me in love,
Until that curtain rises
Once again

We are the Sun

The curtain came down,

Before I could speak.

I on one side,

You on the other.

I waited, stunned at the sudden finality.

This must be part of the show.

This heavy velvet

suffocating with silence,

Would rise and I’d be able to say the lines I had planned to say,

And those I hadn’t,

As they flooded my mind with so much urgency.

Time was still passing,

As I held my breath.

The clock that had never worked,

Began to …reminding me to breathe.

The curtain anchored itself in,

locked “for now”.

I stood there alone.

The crowd that had been watching, had left,

Eager to escape the stifling stench of despair.

I was sure you would find a way

to come back to me.

You were the “star”.

“This” couldn’t go on without you.

Nobody else knows the lines.

Nobody else knows how scared I am to speak mine.

Nobody else remembers OUR memories.

~~~I was completely alone~~~

You were on the other side

of something I didn’t understand.

How could I still hear your voice,

Feel your presence,

But not see you?

Our scene was over….or paused,

I didn’t know which.

I don’t know how long I stayed there ~at that curtain~…

Time became irrelevant.

The only thing that existed,

Were the delicate cracks in my desperate heart.

I knew I would have to step back into my own light,

And create a new role for me to play.

I didn’t want to.

I wanted this one.

I wanted it all back.

I wasn’t ready to become anything without you.

Me without you..

No.

I hated it…

I cursed it..

I poured out my deepest, tar soaked depths,

And floated there as long as I could

Without sinking.

One night as I dreamed,

You came back to me.

You took my hand,

Pulled me from the dark,

Wrapped me in the curtain

I had thought was our “divide”.

It wasn’t.

It was now a magic cape,

Coloured with all of our memories.

Stitched through endless days of our shared laughter,

our shared sun.

You looked at me and whispered

“You are the star, I am the wish,

We are the sun.”

“You are the light, I am the warmth,

We are the sun.”

We have always been, and will always be one.

You had given me the gift I needed to keep on.

We are not divided and never were.

We are only united,

always forever…

To wish for a moment

with you,

I simply need to BE.

There are pieces of me,

Made from seconds,

and thoughts,

and creations,

Where we existed in one space

together…

visibly,

in the same wrinkle of time.

What we cannot see,

Now lies within our

very existence.

And this dreamy magic cape,

Shall remain with me..

Surrounding me in love,

Until that curtain rises,

Once again.