Lane Change

As we sat in our trucks
and cars
So close to each other
But minds so far

Only thinking of what’s next
Rushing from one thing to another

A seagull floated above
Sorry for us

He was free
He was at ease

We were stressed and anxious
Annoyed and hurried

He was unaware of the time
Unaware of the congestion

We were squeezing in,
Cutting off,
Muttering profanity

He wished we could stop
get out of the lane
We had chosen
Step back
Breathe the air
Surrounding the chaos
We had sped to join

And see each other
For a moment
Not see a black car
A red truck

But the child inside each of us
Dreaming of being free
Just like him

How do we step out of our routine
To witness a better scenario
How do we change lanes
When we feel so stuck
In this “race” we hope to win

This race that ends where?
When we collapse in our beds?
When we scream at our loved ones?
When we cry out of fear,
Or worry?

What are we gaining
As we rush on
To get more
To be more
To do more

There is never more at the end of a race

There is an END

Before the end

Wouldn’t you like to just be?

Just sit down for a moment

Look around you

Smile

Breathe

See the birds as they float and soar

Smell the air as a new season emerges

Count your blessings

I feel we have all reached our limits, don’t you?

We must pause, reassess, and make sure we aren’t missing the point of being here in the first place.

I know you can’t believe you were born to push yourself to be anything you are not

I know you cannot believe that you meant to race through life, on little sleep, little nutrition, little joy

I know you don’t want to spend one more day in this “race” missing everything surrounding you

Ending in exhaustion and an empty heart

Your soul is aching to be free…

We may not be free to fly like the birds

But we truly are free to choose what we wish for ourselves

And move towards that.

Even if it’s just one little thing

I dare you to change one part of your life that causes you dread

Isn’t it funny to think we keep things in our lives that cause us dread?

I guarantee we each have one that we could get rid of

When I started to try to embrace my true self, to be a happier me, one of the first things I chose to do was to admit I hated to talk on the phone…ahhhh thats one less thing to face in this world that was bringing me stress.

As Ferris Bueller once said

“Life moves pretty fast…if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it”

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Marshmallow

I’m not about to eat them everyday but wow what a nice experience for my mouth that was.

I like to do things the exact same every time. If I have a way to get somewhere I’m not likely going to change it. Even if you promise it’s faster, or easier. If I’ve already figured out MY way, that’s it. Things like pulling into the driveway. I pull up. Sometimes my husband backs in…no…why are you doing that? I like to eat the same things together and can sometimes eat the same meal everyday. I pack my kids lunches almost exactly the same everyday. Luckily they are also creatures of habit.

Once I figured out where to take my recycling I was horrified when I was told there was a much closer one to go to. Uh no. That means going in and figuring this new place out. Starting from scratch?! NO! There is just such a heavy weight that comes with getting to an unfamiliar place and then going in and “making friends” with that new space and the new faces.  I actually DID try this closer recycling place.  It WAS much closer and MUCH cleaner and easier so it is now my place.

Sometimes if the planets align and I face my fears and try something new it becomes my new thing which is why, even though I describe myself as super set in my ways and unlikely to change, it doesn’t mean I want to completely shut down and never again look at the possibilities ….it just means the lead up and the many variables have to be just so.

Then one magical day I might try eating a plain marshmallow and like it! I am 41 and just tried my very first plain marshmallow after years of assuming they were too sticky and too sweet. I’m not about to eat them everyday but wow what a nice experience for my mouth that was. Now, to be completely honest, because lord knows I cannot leave out precious details, I DID only agree to eat the marshmallow if I rolled a 5.  I did.  And no, I don’t roll the dice for all my decisions. Some of you may try bungee jumping, some of us sample a well known well loved treat with far more trepidation.