A Momma Named Lynda Jean

For my momma on Mother’s Day. May 14th, 2017

Did you know that I can still see your gorgeous shiny hair as you took out your curlers?
You still have the best hair

Did you know that I’ll never forget the time I came home to you finishing the wall paper in my room? There you were surrounded by pink and blossoms and coated in sticky glue ~ I can still smell that glorious freshly papered room. I loved it so much. Thank you.

Did you know that I still love wiener pizza? That was and always will be a heck of a good idea.

Did you know that I appreciate each and every time you let me stay home with a tummy ache? I was a super sensitive lil gal and no other momma would have understood me as you did.

Did you know I am STILL super sensitive? And sometimes the only cure is coffee with mom.

Did you know I have no idea who Rita’s cousin’s uncle’s neighbour’s son is or what year he got married? I know you know. You know the names and dates and places of anything I could ever wish to know. Thank you for being my infinite source of facts and forgotten tidbits.

Did you know that I will never forget how much you did for all of us? From meals and baking to sewing and endless chores. To saving me from weird situations and smoothing things over when I thought they were unable to be repaired. From something you found or made for me “specially”. To the many moves and fresh starts. From homemade donuts after chicken catching. To making me believe that I “shouldn’t even worry about it” and nothing I feared was a big deal. Thank you.

Did you know that Maddy and Max find the same comfort with you?
Maddy even told me this week I “sure was lucky cuz I got to have Grandma as my mom.” You better believe it Beana. The luckiest.

Did you know that I can still hear GX94 playing our songs?? Jiving around the kitchen. Or were we waltzing? Was it a polka? Hmmm

Did you know that you may never beat my Zuma score and that’s ok. 😜🐸

Did you know that I may have looked 10 years older by now if it hadn’t been for Lynda “poppins” early morning pop ins after the babies were born! Thank you for the naps. The laundry. The meals. The advice. The shoulder to cry on.

Did you know I hope my kids feel the same way about me that I feel about you ~ if I can provide them love and laughter and wisdom and comfort and maybe bake some cookies now and then maybe I can pull it off. It’s not always easy but I am following in the most beautiful footsteps one could follow.
Thank you momma for being my momma.

Happy Mother’s Day!!!
The favourite.

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I’m Here

I’m here. I need you to know.

I replay moments that we shared and ones I’ve dreamed

For you I’m just a scent and just a song away

For me you’re a whisper, a smile, a big step forward when I’m afraid and tired.

I see you being brave.
In that moment you breathe in
In that moment you breathe out
In that moment your tears flow freely
In that moment you choose joy
I am here.

For you I live in an entire kaleidoscope of infinite stories that you read and tell and remember how they were told to you while I held you in my arms.
There’s nothing like that warm, safe dream of together.

I wish for it every second I’m still.
I beg for it back when I’m worn out.
When I don’t have anything left to hide all the stuff I keep underneath.

Those days do come
I’ll be there to help you hold that heavy feeling
You’ll find peace in a memory and laughter will soon follow.

I just wish you were here

I am ~ close your eyes
Do you see me?
Just on the other side of the thinnest wall where you can still feel my presence.
Still hear my laughter
Still feel your heart thumping when you see my eyes light up for you.

I really wish I could talk to you
Just once more

You can~I hear you
I bet you can hear me too

My love knows you through and through and treasures every bit.
You get to keep that for all eternity
And so do I.
Love exists in a realm surpassing life and death.

How do I find you?
How will I know you’re still here with me?

Did you know there is no end sweetheart~~
Only places far beyond our imagination
With lights as bright as the sun
No fear, no pain, no worry
Just joy. Just love.

You may feel we have separated
But we remain
Long after we must part
Love remains~~

It will wrap you up like a warm towel after a hot bath.
It will sing you to sleep.
It will wake you when the sky is so beautifully blue
that you simply must not miss it.
Maybe you will find a nickel
Catch a rainbow gracing gloom
Spot a dragonfly under the sparkling sun
See the most delicious bloom under a peculiar tree
See a bird soar high above this Wild world.
That is my love being sent straight to you

That is when you’ll know
You have found me
When you have opened your heart
Just enough to see the magic
That remains
That is me
I am always there

I was on top of the world from the day I knew we would be together
I am still ….
Right here.
A light to guide you through this world
In your heart
And right beside you too
Every step of the way.

Keep on being brave
It matters
The tough parts are little bridges that we must trust and
we must cross.
They don’t go on forever.
They just get us to the good stuff.

I hope you do the things you love today.
Go for a drive,
Walk through the garden
Bake a cake
Drink a big cup of coffee with just the right milk and sugar.
Make yourself smile cuz that’s the time I love the most. 🙂
I love you always, forever,
and still…

Sail On

My child

I hold you while you slumber

please rest more

so we can share a breath

as you quiet your mind

and your breathing slows

your tired dream syncs

safely with the angels

I cherish you

I embrace your fight

dissolving any battles

easing all the angst

you awaken

utterly refreshed

full only of harmony

a knowledge of oneness

divine light

pouring over

your transformed soul

following a new map

to bring your gentle heart

back to the top

to rule the mind

you are a light

you must sail on

my kind and gentle child

carry that light

wherever the waves carry you

 

Love From Mom

I’m here. I need you to know.

I see you my child.

~Precious soul I miss too big to explain.

I’m here. I need you to know.

~I replay moments that we shared, and ones I’ve dreamed.

For you I’m just a scent and just a song away.

~For me you’re a whisper, a smile, a big step forward when I’m afraid and tired.

Yes.  I see you being so brave.  I’m there.  

For you I live in stories that you read and remember how they were told to you while I held you in my arms.

~There’s nothing like that safe warm dream of together.

I wish for it every second I’m still.  

I beg for it back when I’m worn out.  

When I don’t have anything left to hide all that stuff I keep underneath.  

Those days will come.

I’ll be there to help you hold that heavy feeling so it won’t weigh you down.

Those days will go.

You’ll find peace in a memory and laughter will soon follow.

You’ll find peace knowing our souls are forever meant to be.  

I’m right here…

Just on the other side of the thinnest wall where you can still feel my presence.

Still hear my laugh.

Still feel your heart thumping when you see my eyes light up for you.

A momma’s love who knows you through and through and treasures every bit.

You didn’t lose that.

It was, and it is.

This love exists in a realm surpassing life and death.

Long after we must part

It will wrap you up, like a warm towel after a hot bath.

It will sing you to sleep.

It will wake you when the sky is so beautifully blue that you simply must not miss it.

It will guide you with the sparkling sun.

It will remind you with the most delicious bloom under a peculiar tree.

It will gather your fears and send them soaring with the birds high above this wild world.

Don’t worry my dear.  I am right here.

I was on top of the world from the day I knew we would be together

and I am still ….

Right here.

On top of the world.

Watching over you,

every step of the way.

Keep on being brave my lil one.

It matters.

The tough parts are little bridges

that we must trust and

we must cross.

They don’t go on forever.

They just get us to the good stuff.

I hope you do the things you love today.  

Will you go for a drive?

Will you walk through the garden?  

I know in some way you will help others, it’s what feeds your soul…

Make yourself smile cuz that’s the time I love the most. 🙂

Love you always, forever, and still,

~mom