I’m Here

I’m here. I need you to know.

I replay moments that we shared and ones I’ve dreamed

For you I’m just a scent and just a song away

For me you’re a whisper, a smile, a big step forward when I’m afraid and tired.

I see you being brave.
In that moment you breathe in
In that moment you breathe out
In that moment your tears flow freely
In that moment you choose joy
I am here.

For you I live in an entire kaleidoscope of infinite stories that you read and tell and remember how they were told to you while I held you in my arms.
There’s nothing like that warm, safe dream of together.

I wish for it every second I’m still.
I beg for it back when I’m worn out.
When I don’t have anything left to hide all the stuff I keep underneath.

Those days do come
I’ll be there to help you hold that heavy feeling
You’ll find peace in a memory and laughter will soon follow.

I just wish you were here

I am ~ close your eyes
Do you see me?
Just on the other side of the thinnest wall where you can still feel my presence.
Still hear my laughter
Still feel your heart thumping when you see my eyes light up for you.

I really wish I could talk to you
Just once more

You can~I hear you
I bet you can hear me too

My love knows you through and through and treasures every bit.
You get to keep that for all eternity
And so do I.
Love exists in a realm surpassing life and death.

How do I find you?
How will I know you’re still here with me?

Did you know there is no end sweetheart~~
Only places far beyond our imagination
With lights as bright as the sun
No fear, no pain, no worry
Just joy. Just love.

You may feel we have separated
But we remain
Long after we must part
Love remains~~

It will wrap you up like a warm towel after a hot bath.
It will sing you to sleep.
It will wake you when the sky is so beautifully blue
that you simply must not miss it.
Maybe you will find a nickel
Catch a rainbow gracing gloom
Spot a dragonfly under the sparkling sun
See the most delicious bloom under a peculiar tree
See a bird soar high above this Wild world.
That is my love being sent straight to you

That is when you’ll know
You have found me
When you have opened your heart
Just enough to see the magic
That remains
That is me
I am always there

I was on top of the world from the day I knew we would be together
I am still ….
Right here.
A light to guide you through this world
In your heart
And right beside you too
Every step of the way.

Keep on being brave
It matters
The tough parts are little bridges that we must trust and
we must cross.
They don’t go on forever.
They just get us to the good stuff.

I hope you do the things you love today.
Go for a drive,
Walk through the garden
Bake a cake
Drink a big cup of coffee with just the right milk and sugar.
Make yourself smile cuz that’s the time I love the most. šŸ™‚
I love you always, forever,
and still…

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Surrender

I guess I wished I could set it aside
Leave it behind
That it would disappear
Or be picked up
Cracks patched
And be ok

But that’s not how we did things
I understood it belonged to me
Only for me
And no one else
I understood that nobody else
Wanted to see it

If they did
They would see imperfection,
weakness,
failure..

So I smuggled it in
Under a lovely sleepy moon
Cursed it for not being worthy
And as the sun came up
Placed it gently into a beautiful box
Wrapped it in pretty paper
Tied it tightly with a very nice ribbon
And towed it behind me like a prisoner would drag a ball a chain

Sometimes people ask
What is that??
It looks so pretty
It seems special,
Why do you ignore it?

Oh that?
It IS pretty
I make sure it looks just right
I make sure it doesn’t get in anyone else’s way
It is only for me
And no one else

I’m not sure if I’ll ever open it..

I’m sure getting tired of dragging it around though..

Sometimes I imagine how I would feel
To rip it open
Like it were Christmas morning
And shout “Ta da!!”
“Hey look at this!!”
Put it on display for all to see

There’s just no chance for it,
Hidden within such pretty paper

But to display it, say, on a mantle
Well there,
It may fall~~
Fall to the hard tile floor
Forever set free
Like me~~

Sail On

My child

I hold you while you slumber

please rest more

so we can share a breath

as you quiet your mind

and your breathing slows

your tired dream syncs

safely with the angels

I cherish you

I embrace your fight

dissolving any battles

easing all the angst

you awaken

utterly refreshed

full only of harmony

a knowledge of oneness

divine light

pouring over

your transformed soul

following a new map

to bring your gentle heart

back to the top

to rule the mind

you are a light

you must sail on

my kind and gentle child

carry that light

wherever the waves carry you

 

Ready For Change

The magic of you racing to uncover it, forced it to emerge into the sun

We were on a path,

Well worn,

Well marked,

Pretty enough,

Sufficient even,

Safe and predictable.

You left in a hurry,

With excitement and expectation.

I followed you,

Scared you may fall.

We raced together.

I tried to slow you down at first,

Battling thoughts in my head.

Do I stop you?

Do I put you back on the path of all known things

Where the familiar would comfort my fear,

Or do I run with you?

You just seemed to know that something wonderful beckoned,

the magic of you racing to uncover it, forced it to emerge into the sun

As though it could sense your arrival, all with perfect divine timing,

As you chose to listen to your inner being,

You were set free.

Free to explore.

Free to become the explorer you were born to be.

You would follow your heart,

And I would follow you.

What we found was what the universe wishes for us all,

To see life from a new perspective.

To find freedom.

To feel adventurous.

We were not bound to the rules

Of a place we didn’t fit in.

We embraced this journey,

Each step creating a new path in perfect harmony with our unique spirit.

We sat down together

And rocked back and forth,

Listening to the water flowing by.

The air around us was cold,

But we were warm and cozy like two kittens snuggled by a fire.

You were happy.

You were smiling.

You didn’t need to follow an old path through a familiar place.

You needed to be free to run and seek.

To lead us

To the beauty only you could find.

May I always be witness to the glorious life that unfolds around you,

As you create your own roads in this spectacular world.

It is ready for change.

And so the garden grows

As long before as you can think
As far until as will exist

And as I began to grow, Ā so too did he
Right along next to me
Our energies building and shining
Growing and resting
Side by side

I was not showing him the way
He was neither leading nor following
He was an equal force
An equal light
An equal

Where I was going
He would be too
As he continued
So did I

As long before as you can think
As far until as will exist

We rose from the ground
Aiming toward the sun
Through shadows settling
Air cooling
Unwavering hope ripe with good intentions

Our intent is to love.

Give love
Find love
Receive love
Mention love
See love
Feel love

Until this world we are soaring through
Can do nothing
Without feeling it.
Nothing, without knowing it exists.
Until one day they find themselves snipping off a tiny bit to keep for their very own

And so the garden grows.

Cosmic Colour

Decorating all who stood in gloom

splashing through the pouring rain

on a particularly gray day

i couldnt help but notice

how the trees still wearing their

fancy fall colours

did not shy away

from the bold statememt

of their bright burning colour

They continued to light up the universe

in full cosmic colour

decorating all who stood in gloom

 

 

 

 

We are the Sun

The curtain came down,

Before I could speak.

I on one side,

You on the other.

I waited, stunned at the sudden finality.

This must be part of the show.

This heavy velvet

suffocating with silence,

Would rise and I’d be able to say the lines I had planned to say,

And those I hadn’t,

As they flooded my mind with so much urgency.

Time was still passing,

As I held my breath.

The clock that had never worked,

Began to …reminding me to breathe.

The curtain anchored itself in,

locked “for now”.

I stood there alone.

The crowd that had been watching, had left,

Eager to escape the stifling stench of despair.

I was sure you would find a way

to come back to me.

You were the “star”.

“This” couldn’t go on without you.

Nobody else knows the lines.

Nobody else knows how scared I am to speak mine.

Nobody else remembers OUR memories.

~~~I was completely alone~~~

You were on the other side

of something I didn’t understand.

How could I still hear your voice,

Feel your presence,

But not see you?

Our scene was over….or paused,

I didn’t know which.

I don’t know how long I stayed there ~at that curtain~…

Time became irrelevant.

The only thing that existed,

Were the delicate cracks in my desperate heart.

I knew I would have to step back into my own light,

And create a new role for me to play.

I didn’t want to.

I wanted this one.

I wanted it all back.

I wasn’t ready to become anything without you.

Me without you..

No.

I hated it…

I cursed it..

I poured out my deepest, tar soaked depths,

And floated there as long as I could

Without sinking.

One night as I dreamed,

You came back to me.

You took my hand,

Pulled me from the dark,

Wrapped me in the curtain

I had thought was our “divide”.

It wasn’t.

It was now a magic cape,

Coloured with all of our memories.

Stitched through endless days of our shared laughter,

our shared sun.

You looked at me and whispered

“You are the star, I am the wish,

We are the sun.”

“You are the light, I am the warmth,

We are the sun.”

We have always been, and will always be one.

You had given me the gift I needed to keep on.

We are not divided and never were.

We are only united,

always forever…

To wish for a moment

with you,

I simply need to BE.

There are pieces of me,

Made from seconds,

and thoughts,

and creations,

Where we existed in one space

together…

visibly,

in the same wrinkle of time.

What we cannot see,

Now lies within our

very existence.

And this dreamy magic cape,

Shall remain with me..

Surrounding me in love,

Until that curtain rises,

Once again.

 

 

 

 

The Polaroid

As you turn to face your freedom…

In this moment

Take a picture

What does it show?

Your heart is beating,

But I cannot see it.

I see you smiling, or perhaps you are crying,

But is it a reflection,

Of your deepest thoughts and feelings?

IsĀ it what you wish to portray, to “appear” ok

It mattersĀ .

I don’t care about the picture of this moment

It is only disguising the truth of your soul

I see the true you.

I love all you hold within.

Set it free.

And let another picture be taken,

As you turn to face your freedom..

 

The Embers

Love lives, as the fires sleep..

Within each of us

are the embers.

They ignite with love.

to light the way,

for our soul to journey

confidently.

There is the ember of wonder,

the ember of hope,

the ember of trust,

the ember of forgiveness,

the ember of gratitude,

the ember of creativity,

the ember of harmony~

Be open to receiving love.

It flutters in on the wings of

a butterfly,

It pours from the laughter of

children,

It circles you with a strangers

smile,

It finds you in a dream,

It catches you in unbelievable days,

and helps you believe~

Love creates light

Love dissolves fear,

Love lives as the firesĀ sleep,

and will wake you…

again and again.

 

 

 

Still Within

And now, in full light, I see myself.

I’m digging my soul out from years of discarded pieces of myself.

I’m sweeping aside piles of stuff
That belonged to someone else’s journey.

The wreckage of choices
Made from someone else’s right or wrong, pressure or fear.

I’m lifting off this heavy, guilt-ridden costume.

It no longer fits.

there is something hiding within..

And now in full light I see myself.

My soul is bare and pristine.

Pulsing with a light of trust,Ā and magic.

To be once again in my loving embrace.